After completing treatments, people describe fluctuating emotions and thoughts. Within minutes or hours, some people shift back and forth from feeling secure to insecure, happy to unhappy, excited to listless, confident to not confident, or mellow to irritable. Changing emotions are confusing.
One man in remission felt depressed about his patch of baldness from radiation and fatigued from walking with a limp caused by a healing fracture. Then he saw a man who was terminally ill. Realizing how well he was doing overall, he suddenly felt grateful and energized.
A young newlywed felt exhilarated because for the first time since her bone marrow transplant she felt well enough to prepare a candlelight dinner for her husband. When the roast came out overcooked, she plummeted to despondency.
Another source of confusion is that you have lost the direction, structure, and focus that treatments gave your days and weeks. If you have not settled into a new routine, you are uncertain about what you should be doing. If you have ongoing medical problems, it may be a while before you can find a new routine.
Many basic questions arise after treatment that cause confusion: How healthy am I? Who is my primary caregiver? What is my role at home? How much can I do? How much should I do? How much do I want to do? What can I do? Uncertainty about these elemental questions leads to a sense of confusion.
While you were under treatment, your physical condition and the advice of your doctors and nurses helped determine your limits. Now your side effects may be less obvious and less consistent, and concrete advice about your limits may be lacking. Bewilderment arises from the need to draw limits but not knowing where or how to draw them.
You may be faced with many difficult decisions related to treatments, follow-ups, work or school, insurance, and possibly even relationships with family, friends, and co-workers. Fatigue, anxiety, and pain may make it more difficult to address these pressing issues. If you are finding it hard to prioritize, you may be trying to address many different issues at once. This leads to a clouding of the issues.
As a result of your ever-changing energy level, you may unknowingly be sending your family and friends mixed signals about whether you want extra help or can be expected to resume your old responsibilities. At the same time, their attempts to be sensitive may be sending you mixed signals about their concern and expectations and thereby causing you to feel puzzled.
Your medical condition may have lingering effects on your attention and memory, making it difficult for you to process all this information and responsibility. Some medicines cause confusion, as does sleep deprivation.
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