SCORING: 3—ALWAYS 2—USUALLY 1-SELDOM 0—NEVER
1. I feel I must respond sexually to my spouse’s advances.
2. I try to match my response to my husband’s, faking if I have to.
3. When I start to feel very good sexually, start to really get involved in the sexual experience, I get distracted by my spouse’s response.
4. I find that if I am too active in my sexual motions, it tends to cause my spouse to lose control of his sexual response, sometimes making him come too soon.
5. My orgasms are characterized by a throbbing in the vaginal area.
6. When I have not had sex in a long time, I tend to be more easily aroused.
Why Wives Have Too Many Orgasms
7. I experience some physical discomfort when I have sexual intercourse, g. I try to “match” my response to my spouse’s, and if he is tired or wants to suspend sexual interaction, I go along.
9. I have trouble letting go and getting lost in my orgasms, usually trying to “come” like my husband “comes.”
10. If I don’t feel contractions in my vagina, I don’t feel as if I have had a really complete sexual experience.
11. My orgasms are essentially the same no matter what type of sex I am having (coitus, oral sex, masturbation). Whatever the source of stimulation, I essentially climax the same way.
12. As I get older, I notice that my orgasms are less intense than they used to be. The throbbing is less intense and there are fewer throbs.
13. I notice that my lubrication is less and less reliable than it used to be.
14. I feel a “turn-taking” in our sex, so I must have orgasm first and then he takes his turn.
15. Before orgasm, I feel warm and close in our lovemaking, but after orgasm, there seems to be a distance between us.
16. I have trouble “getting over the edge.” I seem to get right to the point where I could come and then it is difficult for me to go the rest of the way.
17. I hold back during sex. I might want to talk, groan, or say loving things, but I have trouble expressing myself during sex.
18. If I have masturbated, I feel some guilt, and this can even extend to my sex with my husband.
19. I feel that sex is focused on my breasts and in my genitals. I feel reacted to in parts, not “me.”
20. I feel “worked on” during sex, rubbed and stimulated to get ready or to
get “there.”
Thirty-five or more points on this test, and it is likely that you are not experiencing psychasms but orgasms, working toward physiological reflex in response to genital or breast stimulation.
Remember that the object of this test is to promote discussion with your partner, not replace one set of expectations with another. Super marital sex depends on being open to the gift of complete erotic response with someone else, not on living up to the new goal of psychasms instead of orgasms. Orgasms are reflexes. Psychasms are emotional and conscious experiences related to a freedom from “organ reflex.”
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